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Naked And Unashamed


A blog by Mrs. Tiye, founder of The Broken Brown Egg, August 24, 2010

If anyone asked me what the most annoying and hurtful thing about infertility was, I would have to say the inability to plan.

My body, by being uncooperative or incapable of doing what it was designed to do, took away my right to decide how I wanted to build my family. This is why advocacy feels so good.

A Plan You Can Execute

In a situation where you cannot plan, but only wait and see what works, talking to others feels good because it is a plan I can execute. I design the blog and decide what I want to talk about. I can say what you want to say about the feelings and the fears. Advocating for infertility is a stab back at the condition that has wronged us.

However, this is not to say that advocating makes living with infertility any easier. Make no mistake, there are times when even writing about your struggle will still suck. Sorry. There are times when you will avoid your own posts because they sting or delete your real thoughts because they scare you a bit. This is normal.

For me, I’ve had to separate Regina, from The Broken Brown Egg because my blog’s mission has outgrown my personal attitudes. I’m not just writing for me anymore, and that is what makes it advocacy.

Bringing Awareness to More People

While infertility affects all women in different ways, I was personally frustrated in feeling like the only person in my family or culture heading down this road. For me, the focus on finding identity in the midst of infertility was strong. I was infuriated that my own ethnic group had ostracized ourselves from the valuable information about reproductive health. That anger, I’m sure, helped me jump into advocacy a bit easier than I would have otherwise.

Similar to how focusing on the goal of parenthood keeps your spirits up even on the worst infertile days, having a focus point for your advocacy will help you when you want to give up. It will give you an escape inside of your e-space to know that the “you” found on the page is for the woman somewhere else who can’t articulate it the same way. When you say how much it hurts and how hard you’ve tried, it’s for the woman who has no one to talk to.

Believe that your words are helping someone, even when you can’t see it, and your blog will begin to benefit you.

A Journey Together

There are many small hurdles that come along with starting your journey toward advocacy. I will try and make you aware of those as we go along. For today, I’m just glad you’re thinking about it. If we all speak up, one word at a time, we can take the hurt away.

Of all the N/As that infertility leads to, the most important one should be Not Alone. By advocating and blogging, we make sure that is so.

If you have started your journey toward online advocacy, leave your blog address or Twitter name in the comments section!

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