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Take the Leap


a blog by Mrs. Tiye, founder of The Broken Brown Egg, September 21, 2010

My advice for someone thinking about sounding their battle cry is very similar to Nike’s.

Just. Do. It.

The idea of grassroots advocacy is often much more daunting than it has to be. We stall by poking around different blog hosts and thinking about how we want our space to look, and what kind of catchy, fertility-related title we can come up with. We grapple with the idea of whether to be anonymous bloggers or out and open. We worry about what we’re going to say, and how we’re going to say it. Though I was guilty of it myself, I have to admit to you that, in fact, none of that is even necessary.

Having the best blog or even knowing what you want to articulate through Twitter is a moot point when we think about the power in our simply beginning the journey and being honest about it. It is a happy distraction that we take on when we start thinking more about how we want to look, rather than what we want to say. Trust me, the person who needs your words the most won’t care.

One of the biggest lessons I was taught while attaining my writing degree was: “Go Straight To The Action.” I’ve lived that lesson throughout my writing career, and it has been great fuel for writing about something as personal as infertility. What it means is to start your post at the emotion, activity or event that has your attention. If that person who asked why you and your partner haven’t had any children on the morning you got your fifth BFN is what is on your heart, write that experience down. If the fight of fluctuating weight and emotions is hindering your ability to keep hoping, write about that feeling. Often, once you start writing the moments and actions, the rest falls in line.

My first post out of the infertility closet was riddled with run-on sentences and nervous, wordy rants. When I go back and read it now, I’m horrified at some of the grammatical and stylistic errors, but I’m filled with a sense of pride in myself for saying some of the things I see written there. Things that embarrassed and unnerved me seemed to roll off once I began writing them down. Though there are some rough days, and emotions you will choose to keep to yourself, I’m sure that once you make the decision to become an advocate, you will often experience the same freeing feeling.

The honesty of what we write about is what will change people’s thoughts and actions towards the infertility community. Statistics, facts and style won’t help us as much or as quickly as someone sharing the truth about our fight. The people going through infertility need a reflection, if they are going to receive some inner peace. A beautiful looking blog is great, but an informative and truthful friend is even better. Have you written your first post? Share a link with us!

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