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Baby Names: Does Your Future Baby Already Have One?
a blog by murgdan, March 24, 2010
I’ve been asked by many over the last few months if we’ve picked a name for this baby.
“What’s his name?”
“Have you decided on a name?”
“Hasn’t it been hard picking a name?”
“What’s his name?”
Picking a name was the easiest part of this journey. Why was it easy? Simple. We’ve had names picked out since those first days of trying to conceive.
I’ll never forget that evening three years ago after the ‘let’s-have-a-baby’ talk when we started to allow ourselves to dream. We talked for hours about nursery plans and daycare arrangements . . . and names. We made a deal that night that I would pick a girl’s name and my husband would pick a boy’s name. That talk was so infused with joy and hope for the future that we were so sure was right around the corner.
Over the next few weeks we went through our names. We laughed at some of our choices until tears ran down our cheeks. We pondered. We dreamed. We imagined the picture perfect bun that we were sure was starting to sprout in our proverbial oven. We were still over a year away from finding out that we were missing an essential bun ingredient: sperm.
We picked our names and continued trying, certain that our turn was right around the corner.
As the years went by, our names fell by the wayside. Imaginary children don’t fare well when the reality of infertility hits home. Images of those dream babies anticipated during our first naming talk vanished as we faced the reality that it might not happen for us. The mere possibility felt so far away, so impossible.
And then it happened. Pregnancy. And if it’s happened to you, you know those names don’t just fly out of the hat again so quickly. The first few months are so terrifying, it’s still unfeasible to actually envision your baby needing a name. The baby is simply named, “Oh-wow-I’m-actually-pregnant-really?” for a good while.
But when we had the ultrasound and the ultrasound technician announced, “It’s a boy!”
I turned my head and whispered his name. His name. Because of course he has a name. He had a name before my husband’s sperm was ICSI’d into my egg. He had a name before the heartbreak of infertility became a part of his story. He’s had a name since he was a twinkle in our eyes. He has a name.
But we’re keeping it a secret just a little while longer…
Just until we can whisper it into his ear.