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Waiting for Beta?
a blog by S.I.F., November 24, 2010
The two-week wait is an excruciating time.
Most of us spend that wait analyzing (and over-analyzing) every hiccup, dream, and stomach twitch wondering: Was that my baby?
We can’t help it. After investing so much into the effort of getting pregnant, all we want to know is if it worked. And we want to know as soon as humanly possible. But that beta is typically scheduled a cruel 14 days out from transfer, and as you walk out the door, your doctors will warn you not to test at home. They will tell you that the date of beta is the soonest a pregnancy could possibly show up.
We Want to Find Out Early
We all know that’s not true though. Each and every one of us has read about women who have tested positive at 5dp3dt, or 3dp6dt. Women who found out more than a week before that scheduled beta. Women who were able to rejoice in their pregnancies from early on, with that brutal wait time cut in half.
We all want to be one of those women. Not just one of the ones who gets pregnant, but also one of the ones who finds out at the earliest possible time.
The problem is that for every success story of an early positive, there are also the crushing blows of negative after negative. Negatives that could be telling the truth or negatives where it may just be too soon to tell. Either way, though — those negatives can threaten to make the two week wait that much more painful.
Can You Wait for the Beta?
The answer is different for everyone. There are those who simply have to know one way or another. Those who will begin testing every day after transfer, sometimes two or three times a day.
And then there are those who wouldn’t dream of testing early, for fear of jinxing the entire cycle.
The truth is, there really is no right answer. But the doctors do warn you to wait for the Beta for a reason. They want you to protect yourself. To protect your heart. Because as optimistic as you may be going into this, continuing to get negatives past the point when others you know have gotten positives is soul crushing.
It makes it hard to trust in the possibility that you could be pregnant. And it makes it difficult to keep moving forward with hope. Even if there is a little one growing inside of you who you just don’t know about yet.
The Smartest Decision May Not Always Work for You
At the end of the day, waiting for Beta is probably the smartest decision you could possibly make. It’s the one that protects your heart the most and allows time for that little one to grow enough to be detected. But we all know that sometimes it isn’t exactly easy to make the smart decision in TTC. Sometimes you just have to know.
So if you can wait for the Beta, all power to you. That is an impressive feat. But me? I will probably always be one of those girls who simply has to know.
Even if it does mean staring down at negative after negative.
Even if it means less hope with each passing day.