Guy Ringler M.D at California Fertility Partners discusses how gay men have biological children with surrogacy. With two sperm providers, we can divide the eggs into two equal groups so each guy gets a chance at fertilizing half of the eggs. One or two embryos may be transferred into the surrogate mother.
Surrogacy is an option for gay men who wish to have a biological connection to their child. In a gestational surrogacy arrangement, one or more embryos would be created in an IVF cycle, using donor eggs and the individual or couple’s sperm.
Realizing you need a Fertility Doctor, much less finding one, can feel like a tricky and overwhelming concept. For the average heterosexual couple, needing ART usually comes as a surprise (half the surprise being that ART means Assisted Reproductive Technology, and not just something that one hangs on their walls). You can arrive at your first appointment with little to no ideas, information or predictions on what your treatment course will be. The idea is generally to arrive with questions and receive some options and answers.
With a gay or lesbian couple, when the desire is to pursue having biological children, chances are they have at least some vague ideas about ART and the possibilities involved with conceiving long before they make their first appointment. Should the process of finding a Doctor differ? Does a gay couple need to be anymore armed with information for that first appointment than a straight couple does? What would be the first step for a gay or lesbian couple who are thinking about starting a family? What decisions, if any, need to be made/discussed before going into a fertility specialist?
It seems that the entire nation is directing their attention to the Capitol for the Supreme Court vote on the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act and in New Jersey, Gay Pride events are popping up in every town from Wantage to Wildwood. Our culture is changing before our eyes, as another group is fighting to have equal rights in the face of the government. LGBT couples face a different kind of challenge in their journey for equality: Parenting. Unlike a heterosexual couple, who may try up to a year or more before seeking assistance from a fertility doctor, LGBT couples know off the bat that they will need some sort of assisted reproduction.
It used to be that when we talked “LGBTQ Family Building” and “Families of Choice” we were exclusively singing the praises of NON-biological family. The focus was on the kinship networks we built out in the world as teens/adults post-coming out. These were families built out of necessity, when biological families of origin weren’t supportive, families forged strong in the fires of adversity because other options weren't available.