Celebrating your own mom may work, but if not, take a day for yourself
Sunday is Mother’s Day. Unlike Valentine’s Day, which focuses on the couple, this commercialized day can be one of the hardest days for a woman coping with infertility.
“Mother’s Day can be a double whammy,” says Andrea Mechanick Braverman, Ph.D., a Pennsylvania health psychologist who specializes in infertility counseling. “Another anniversary of a year gone by without a baby — and a holiday that specifically excludes you.”
My name is Chelsea and I’m just like you. I’m not a doctor, I am not a nurse. I have no medical training, although perhaps I could teach a shot injection class or two. I never saw infertility coming. When my husband Josh and I decided it was time to start a family over 5 years ago, we had no idea we would become the 1 in 8 couples who struggle.
There is an invisible bar we infertiles constantly teeter on whenever one of our loved ones becomes pregnant; we struggle amid genuine excitement for their success, and nagging disappointment at our own failure. It’s the line between happy for you and sad for me. A place I know all too well.
Just as we are all recovering from Mother’s Day, the other Hallmark Holiday is fast approaching, just about a month away. While I find Mother’s Day to be the single most difficult day of the year for anyone struggling with infertility, Father’s Day is not exactly a breeze.
When a couple decides to officially try to have a baby, the initial part of the process can be a lot of fun. Suddenly thinking about baby names is no longer the equivalent of a school girl doodling her fantasy married name in a notebook, but a within-reach reality. The birth control and condoms go flying out the window, and in their place come hope and sex with a purpose. There are periods in a month where you know that no matter how rough your day at work is, when you get home you're having sex. Not only is sex this great, fun thing you get to do strictly for a few moments of pleasure, but it's actually a down payment on a life goal. It's like waking up one day and finding out that raw chocolate chip cookie dough is actually going to make you thinner.
A blog by Fresh Conceptions, March 11, 2016
Infertility is a personal battle that challenges you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It tests your marriage, friendships, and faith. Even after reaching the other side, you're often left with scars that may never fade away.
Methods to preserve your sanity when you're feeling the pressure
It’s that time of the year again, when you can’t walk into a store without tripping over a seasonal display or turn on a radio station without hearing some holiday tunes. But while it seems like everyone else may be in the holiday spirit, you’re just not feeling the cheer this year.
The holiday season can be tough on couples who are struggling with infertility or are currently receiving fertility treatments, largely because of its focus on family, which can then expand to children, babies and pregnancy. One of the most common holiday stressors for a person or couple with infertility is the fact that they are surrounded by children at the holidays, albeit their beloved nieces, nephews, and cousins, it doesn't fill the void like a child of their own would.
“Holidays are based on family, and it’s almost impossible to avoid that,” says Dr. John Rinehart, a reproductive endocrinologist and founding partner of the Reproductive Medicine Institute in Chicago. “There are toy ads on TV, parties with a bunch of children running around. And if you’re the one who’s trying to have a child, but there are problems, that can be hard.”
a blog by Lisa Rosenthal, September 16, 2015
This experience of infertility changes us. We evolve. We are not the same people we are when we start. Not all the changes are at all welcome. We can become bitter, angry, frustrated, seemingly mean-spirited (especially when it comes to other's pregnancies or babies), depressed, withdrawn. This experience of infertility offers us other words to describe ourselves as well. What are your #Twofertilitywords?
A blog by Amira Posner, Healing Infertility, June 8, 2015
"Letting go coping" is an alternative way of addressing the worries, anxieties and stress responses that go hand in hand with infertility. The technique is associated with successful IVF treatment outcomes.