If you are going through infertility it can be absolutely overwhelming and exhausting. There can be a complete loss of control. I know first hand how this feels. The endless visits to doctors and specialists. The fertility drugs that leave you feeling irritable, nauseous and like a crazy version of yourself. To add to the insanity everyone around you seems to be getting pregnant. You find yourself on a downward spiral of jealously, anger and despair.
Infertility comes with many emotions. Hidden emotions of infertility are a common struggle and many couples often find themselves dealing with and feeling like they have no one to talk to. Should you keep those emotions hidden or should you openly share your struggle? Self-esteem, depression and stress are the three most common emotions and addressing them during this emotional roller coaster is proven to help you work through infertility and the struggle with this disease.
I have officially started my second round of IVF and already, things are much different. When I went for my first round of IVF, I had no idea that there were so many different medication options. Or, that the protocol would be different not just from woman to woman, but also from clinic to clinic for the same woman. You can read more about different protocol options here.
We are all well aware that nothing in life is certain, but most of us have found a way to create order and some predictability. We have jobs and routines and schedules that help us wake up in the morning with a decent sense of how the day is going to play out. But all of this dramatically changes once you enter the world of infertility.
In this three-part series we will carefully explore three easy and profoundly effective ways to be sure that we protect our relationships from being lost in the mix of our fertility treatment. On this journey it is easy to temporarily loose sight of the fantastic loveliness of our “We.”
It’s easy to get a little lost when you first start down the path of Assisted Reproductive Technology. The rules are different in this world. The language is different. And basic common sense feels different. Because uncertainty is the only certainty, it’s easy to get swept up by the runaway train that leads you to a moment where you’re standing in the middle of a sea of syringes and web pages of egg donors going, “Wait! How did I get here?”
These five facts can help you stay afloat on the infertility journey
We live in the experience of our thinking.
We tend to think circumstances create our experience. For example, people sometimes say they have a stressful job. The thing is, nothing has the power to make us feel anything. It is not the job that makes us feel stressed. It is what we think about the job creates our experience. You cannot have a thought without a feeling, or a feeling without a thought behind it, whether you are aware of it or not.
It is important that you make the most of your appointments with your fertility doctor. The best way to do that is to actively prepare for them in advance in the same way that you would prepare for a business meeting. The last thing you want is to become so overwhelmed while at the appointment that you forget to ask important questions. Careful preparation will help you manage the process and signal to the physician that you would like to enter into a positive and collaborative partnership.
Over the last two decades, I have had the opportunity to interact with some of the most renowned luminaries in the field of reproductive medicine. From this privileged vantage point, I have been struck by the certainty and passion with which they articulate their positions, and the sincerity with which they express their beliefs.