First, some decisions never feel like they are 100% right. A decision that is 51% to 49% is still a decision for one thing and against something else. This could be the case with living child-free. It would be recommended that you honor the 49% or the 30% or even the 1% of you that wants the opposite of your choice and come to terms with it.
I have a few concerns for those of you who are considering choosing to live child-free. Do all in your power to make sure that your decision is not contaminated by earlier issues. For instance, if you were burdened with too much responsibility for raising siblings, you might feel that you’ve already been a parent. Or, you might have had inadequate parenting which has left you presuming that you will be inadequate also.
I watched Monday’s episode of Katie, Katie Couric’s talk show which focused on couples who are childfree by choice. She featured two couples who made the decision not to become parents, and also Lauren Sandler, who wrote a Time Magazine cover story this summer, “The Childfree Life.”
After years of struggling to conceive, choosing to live childfree can be a liberating decision. But moving from dreaming about a child to choosing a life independent of children can be a very painful process, and a slow evolution. It requires much soul searching, and an honest assessment of your values and goals in life.
You may find this hard to believe: for many people who’ve spent years trying to get pregnant, deciding to live childfree is liberating. They throw out the ovulation calendar, the planned sex, the meds, and clinic visits, and take back their lives. Rather than giving up, they see themselves as taking another exit on life’s highway.