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Are You a Fertility Optimist ... or Realist?

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a blog by Donor Diva, July 8, 2011

To read more Donor Diva: Let's Talk Egg Donation blogs, CLICK HERE.

Which is better for dealing with infertility: optimism or realism? When we began our journey, I was the optimist.

Even after being told I had premature ovarian failure (POF) at 27, I was convinced that I would prove my fertility doctor (reproductive endocrinologist) wrong. I was going to be in that 5 percent that had a successful pregnancy. My lack of eggs wasn’t going to stop me.

At my first in vitro fertilization (IVF), I went in thinking this was it. I was going to be pregnant, and I was so grateful for this technology that was going to get me pregnant. To my heartbreaking surprise, IVF with my eggs didn’t work.
I did everything I could think of to help me conceive: I changed my diet, started meditating, did yoga, used Chinese herbs and did acupuncture. Even as I dedicated myself to healthier living, at the same time I felt depressed, like my miracle was slipping through my fingers.

After three years of TTC, two years of acupuncture, herbs, yoga and diet changes, I felt like I gave it my all. It was time to be realistic about my infertility. At that point, the most important thing for me was to be a mother, and the fastest, easiest way was donor egg. At the time, I wondered if I was giving up on our miracle too soon. Should I have done more IVFs? Should I have given more time to my lifestyle changes?

To my now realist self, I find that my optimism is returning. In the next eight months or so we are considering jumping back into the fertility world. Back to blood work, tests and ultrasounds. We have one frozen embryo left from our donor egg cycle. I have told myself that if this doesn’t work, then we are done with fertility treatment. We are going to just be happy with our one AMAZING miracle.

Are you an optimist or a realist when it comes to your fertility?

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Comments (2)

At that point, the most important thing for me was to be a mother, and the fastest, easiest way was donor egg. At the time, I wondered if I was giving up on our miracle too soon.

I started as an optimist but I'm a realist now. A baby for me is not going to happen. And relaxing as well meaning friends claim is the answer is not going to get my pregnant. I think realism is the best approach hope for the best, but expect the worst.

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