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Infertile Woman ... Who ELSE Are You?

Once you get an infertility diagnosis and start fertility treatments, it sometimes feels like infertility has taken over your whole life. You start to arrange your work schedule around fertility doctor appointments and lab tests. Even worse, you start to arrange your love life around calendars and ovulation cycles. Socially, you might feel as if you are in a little mold among your friends and family: "Here comes the infertile couple."

(The stories of your drunken neighbors cursing each other out on the front porch and your cousin Dave who married his fraternity brother have run their course. So those with lackluster lives have latched onto something new — your conception issues. This too shall pass.)

But the important thing to remember Is: You may have infertility, but infertility doesn't have to have you. So, you’ve been diagnosed as an infertile woman. Who else are you?

This infertility thing can make us think less of ourselves as women or wives. It shouldn't. It shouldn’t take even an inch away from who you were before you hit this bump in the road. If you were brilliant … you still are. If you loved to read … make sure you still do it. If you cooked before … get into that kitchen. If you hated to cook … what are you doing in the kitchen? Get out of there!

You're still Sue or Jill, or Sarah, or Jennifer or Karen or Katie.

As for the "infertile woman" part of you ... It's not written in scarlet across your chest for the world to see. Keep it tucked somewhere in your "Who I am" list among the other dozens of items, in no particular order, that truly make you you. For example: volunteer, lawyer, vegetarian, jogger, wife, infertile woman, political activist, Mexican chef, sister, entrepreneur, "I Love Lucy" lover, daughter, golfer,

Did you catch where I put “infertile woman” on the list? Oh, you missed it? Oh well.

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