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Taking Conception Advice with a Grain of Salt

People mean well. They really do. You have to believe that — especially when you're trying to get pregnant — or you’ll go insane. Friends , family, coworkers, acquaintances, neighbors, neighbor’s sisters-in-law — they all love to give advice.

It’s amazing how many people we have in our lives who are experts on everything, isn’t it?

The problem with infertility is that we’re always seeking advice. We’re so eager to get pregnant, we’re willing to listen to anyone and everyone's nutty ideas if there’s even a sliver of a chance that they’re going to help us achieve that goal. And you hear some real winners.

  • “You should have sex between 2 and 4 p.m. That’s when women are at their most fertile.”
  • “Make sure you drink cranberry juice before you go to your doctor’s appointment! Wait is that for IUI or UTI? I always get those two mixed up.”
  • “You need a rest. Take a leave of absence from your job, and trust me, you’ll get pregnant.”

Then to make matters worse, they give you an example to show you how sound their wacky advice is:

  • "My cousin’s wife couldn’t get pregnant for years. Then she put in for three months off and was pregnant a week later."

Just remember: These are the same people who advised you on other big life decisions:

  • “If you’re moving to Michigan, the best time to do it is in December.”
  • "If you’re having your honeymoon in Fort Lauderdale, the best time is during Spring Break."
  • "If you have $40,000 saved, you’ll want to have a $40,000 wedding. That’s really the most important thing. You guys can always live with your aunt in her one-bedroom apartment just until you have enough money to move out."

Let’s face it: Most people aren’t experts on everything. (And some aren’t experts on anything.) Don’t let them overwhelm or upset you. And don’t take any of it too seriously. They're not sure how to help you so they’re doing their best … such as it is.

When someone starts chatting — and you sense well-meaning, worthless advice approaching — just keep this little mantra running through your head: "They mean well (please shut up). They mean well (please go away)." And don't forget to smile a lot, nod a lot and, most of all, ignore a lot.

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