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Taking a Breather ... from Friends
You depend on your friends for support, but when you're having problems getting pregnant there may be times when you need to set up boundaries or take a break. Problem is, letting people know that you need to take a breather can be incredibly hard. You might be tempted to make up a lot of little white lies to get you through, but in the long run, some well-placed honesty will go a long way.
Here are some tips for creating that space:
- Email is ok.
Normally it's best to break difficult news face-to-face, but it's ok to share it virtually as long as you let your friend know how much you value her and how much her understanding means to you right now, even if you can't be there to say it in person. Remember, email can feel a litlel cold, so a little gushing can go a long way to warm it up.
- Let another friend cover for you.
If you have a trusted friend who can make your apologies for you, let her. The whole office doesn't need to know why you're skipping the baby shower lunch hour. Having an ally in the office can make a big difference.
- Come up with substitutes.
If you're not up to hanging out with your friend at the park with her kids, ask her if she can slip out some evening for a quick gabfest instead.
- Don't assume your friend has nothing to offer.
Sometimes our friends say things that hurt our feelings ("Just relax!") because they don't understand what we're going through, but this doesn't mean they don't care. It's hard to always be the educator, but it'll be worth it to have friends you can count on.
- Promise to check in and follow through!
Your friends care about you and they'll understand if you take a breather, but they'll want you to come back. Spare them hurt feelings by shooting them an email or making a quick phone call just to keep them up on what's going on.
For more help dealing with friends and family while you're TTC, click here.