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Staying Connected to Mr. Right (While Trying to Conceive)

You got married for better or for worse. I'm not saying that infertility is the worst thing any couple is ever going to go through — on the other hand, you probably won't look back someday and see it as running neck and neck with your Caribbean honeymoon.

Oddly enough, even though it might be a difficult time, infertility actually is a great time to strengthen your marriage. Getting pregnant the usual way doesn't necessarily take much commitment. (Anybody can be in love for 45 minutes.) But going through an extended period of time trying to have a baby will definitely build marriage muscle — if you do it right. And how do you do that?

Keep your partner informed

Some women go through fertility issues and say their husbands just don't understand. Keep him updated on how this whole experience makes you feel. Don’t fall into the old trap: “We’ve been together for five years. He should know how I feel without me having to say it!” He's not from Star Trek. He can’t put his hand on your forehead and transfer all your thoughts into his head.

Date often! (Each other … not other people … no, that would seem wrong.)

Go out to places you went to when you were dating or first got married. Hold hands. Walk through a park. Don't go to places that have bad memories attached: ("This is where we came after my first negative pregnancy test.")

Stay away from "family friendly" places. There's nothing friendly about other people's families right now. And no fertility-related talk across the candlelight. This is your husband, not your sperm donor.

This is the person you've decided to raise kids with. Consider this voyage a project the two of you are working on together as a couple … in preparation for the parenting project.

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