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The Answering Machine Message, Infertile Style!

May 26, 2010

Has this ever happened to you? You can’t answer the phone because you and your partner are “too busy” because it’s ovulation time? Wouldn’t it be great if you could leave these honest answering machine messages on your machine!

    - If you are calling to tell me that you’re pregnant or having a baby shower, this line will automatically disconnect. For all other calls, kindly leave a message after the beep.

    - We can’t come to the phone right now because my embryos are currently being removed from my uterus and then transferred to a Petri dish. Leave a message!

    - Susie, Jack and our little embryo can’t come to the phone right now. We’ll call you back after hatching!

    - Sorry we missed your call but it’s ovulation time! We’ll call you back in 36 hours!

    - I can’t pick up the phone right now because I am too depressed about a negative pregnancy test. I’ll call you back next month if my period is late.

    - Sorry I missed your call but I’m in my two week wait and I really don’t care about talking to you.

    - You’ve reached Martha on December 12. I am out of the office this morning due to a transvaginal ultrasound appointment but will return your call as soon as possible.

    - I’ve stepped away from my desk to look at my cervical mucus but will respond to your message immediately following my return.

    - I will be out of the office, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning before 10 a.m. and maybe Thursday or maybe Friday from 9-11 a.m. but can’t confirm this until later in the week. Please leave a detailed message.