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Coping with Infertility during Easter and Passover
While they may not focus on children as much as the winter holidays do, Easter and Passover are still full of family-centric festivities (not to mention that whole spring, new life, and fertility buzz in the air). If you’re struggling to build your family, you may not be in the mood to face your dear mother-in-law who eternally reminds you with each passing season that she is not getting any younger, and she still wants grandchildren. Here are some tips from the pros on deflecting comments and unsolicited advice while coping with infertility during the holidays:
- Talk to your partner in advance about how long you will stay, and a mutual signal for “time to go”. Don’t blame yourself for needing some time alone, stepping away from the festivities, or even calling it a night. If the kids’ Easter egg hunt and questions about when you will have a baby become too much to bear, you have every right to do what best protects your feelings- even if it means leaving the event early.
- Prepare your deflection statement. Whether your aunt is practically interrogating your uterus about its ability to carry a child or someone casually asks about your goals for building a family, you should have a deflection statement that keeps you in charge of the conversation and protects you from feeling vulnerable without sounding rude. You can say something like: “We definitely want kids and you’ll be on the list of first-to-know when it happens!” or “Thank you for the tips. We’ve got this under control!”
- Rely on Mom. If you are open about your infertility to your mom or another close family member, pull them aside before dinner and provide any details you feel comfortable sharing. Let them know how you’re feeling so they can help you deflect any unsolicited advice or comments, and let them know you don’t feel up to talking about your latest in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle around the dinner table.
For additional advice, swing by FertileThoughts.com to find out how others will be coping with infertility and deflecting baby comments over the spring holidays.