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I’m Having Trouble Getting Pregnant: Who Should I Tell?

The answer is: Nobody.

Just take all of your anxieties about getting pregnant, stuff them down into the deepest, darkest recesses of your gut and then throw loads of ice cream and brownies on top of them.

Okay, so now besides having trouble getting pregnant, you’ve gained 30 pounds, and that's no help to your fertility.

So, what’s the solution? Share your fertility issues … but approach with caution!

The first, most natural thing to do is to run to your mother and your best friend. Great … Just be prepared: They might not give you the reactions you're hoping for.

Instead of: "I'm so sorry you're going through this," your mother might say: "I told you you shouldn't have waited so long to get married" or "So how am I ever going to be a grandma?"

And your best friend? Instead of: "We'll get through this. Is there anything I can do?" might say: "Wow, really? I don't know. I got pregnant the first month we tried" or "You always overreact to everything. I'm sure it's nothing."

The point is: Our friends and family are useless. Okay, the real point is: You might not yet be totally comfortable opening up about such a personal subject, even to those closest to you. And guess what? They're probably not yet totally comfortable hearing about it. Even people you've known all of your life and who have been through a lot with you need time to adjust to such a foreign-to-them notion as infertility.

So, give them time. And if you want to help them over the initial shock: If there are any other zingers you've been saving up to tell them, just waiting for the right time … I'm thinking this might be it:

"Mom, I'm having trouble getting pregnant and I'm going to jail for identity theft after my sexual reassignment surgery, and did I mention that besides Bill, I have another husband in Ohio and one in Portugal?"

When the dust settles, the "trouble conceiving" part, will register on the shock scale right above: "Oh, and I just had a tuna fish sandwich."

For more laughs, shared anecdotes, and recruiting your very own fertility treatment cycle buddy, visit To learn more about ways your family and friends can support YOU during the infertility journey, watch as Dr. Andrea Braverman shares tips for being supportive during infertility: