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Private Adoptions

In private (independent) adoptions, an individual or couple adopts directly from the biological mother (or biological parents if paternity has been established). One advantage is that private adoptions can reduce adoption red tape but they are generally more costly than agency adoptions. Like agency adoptions, private domestic and international adoptions are governed by the laws in both the baby’s birth state/country and the adoptive parent’s home state/country. Gays and straights can use the private adoption route.

Getting Started

Generally, private adoptions are facilitated by an attorney and sometimes a private adoption consultant who may:

  • Identify a biological mother seeking to relinquish her baby,
  • Arrange and mediate contact between both parties, thus setting boundaries, maintaining clear communication, and reducing possible pressure from both parties, and
  • Lay out the legal steps and assist both parties complete them.

Some states prohibit attorneys from "finding" or "matching" parents and are limited to the legal procedures after matches are made.

Some prospective parents seek out birthmothers independently by casting a wide net across their networks, and placing ads in newspapers and the Internet. Some adoptive parents pay thousands of dollars in advertising. Once a birthmother is located, an adoption attorney should be brought in immediately to facilitate the legal process. In fact, you should line up and consult with an adoption attorney before you identify a biological mother.

Important Details

Adoptive parents generally pay a biological mother’s medical expenses and certain pregnancy, insurance, legal, and living costs, but can not pay the biological mother to relinquish her child. The courts consider this child trafficking — a crime in the U.S. and most nations.

In domestic private adoptions, attorneys should be familiar with adoption laws and procedures in the adoptive parents’ home state and the child’s birth state. In international private adoptions, domestic attorneys usually work with an attorney in the child’s birth country to ensure that all legal procedures are followed.


Comments (42)

I am not able to have a child, and my husband had a vasectomy before we met and married in 1995. As long as the newborn is healthy, the gender of the child is not important. Please contact me to see if we can work something out. God bless you! Email:

Thanks for reading-My husband and I have been trying to adopt for months now.. We have a couple of biological children, an adopted daughter who is 8 in May and have a deep desire to add to our family thru adoption. We've lost four babies including a daughter born very prematurely.. We feel God has put a desire in our heart to adopt another child. A baby would be wonderful, but a young child would be equally wonderful. We are certified foster parents in upstate NY and have a completed adoption homestudy with the agency we foster thru. Please contact us at godscanvas at yahoo dot com OR brownfamilyhopingtoadopt at yahoo dot com. We have a webpage all about us we would love to share with you as you consider our family.. Regardless of what you decide, stay strong and thank you for at least reading this!

we are hoping to adopt. we have been on this journey for 6 years. we are home study approved, licensed to foster and adopt. our goal is to establish trust love and loyalty with a birth mom in need of an adoption plan for her baby. we long to give our everything to a child, to provide them with unconditional love, devotion, encouragement, education just to name a few of the many wishes we have for a child. anyone with resources advice or in need of us please feel free to text 570-470-7570 or email michellefejes at yahoo dot com

Hi my name is estephanie and me and my husband have been married for two years and have been together for 6 year and we are looking to adopt a baby. Perfer a newborn. Me and my husband are both unable to have kids and we would love to have a little one running around are house. We are very loving people and we just want to complete are family. We can provide the baby with everything needed. We have four dogs and we love them like are babies but we want the real thing. If anyone is willing to help please contact me at

Good day estephanie im n 26year old women who is looking for good parents to adopt my currently 27 weeks pregnant.i really cant afford to have n baby now i will rather be n blessing to someone else than knowing i would never be able to give my everything to an inocent baby.if you still looking for a baby you can contact me on 0737933117 or

Im looking to get pregnant for a couple in return for expenses paid i want to bless a couple with a baby like the couple to be involved threw everything and have an ongoing relationship if this is for u message me

Hi my name is Kelsey im 21 from ca looking for private adoption only because i am not super wealthy and theres alot of fees involved with regular adoption but i have 2 children of my own i feel that god has put it in my heart to adopt i am a loving mother and i do have the means to support the baby please email me to talk more you won't be disappointed

Trina - I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. Have you discussed your PCOS with your gynecologist? Have you seen a fertility specialist? There are other treatment options for women who have PCOS - you don't have to jump right to adoption. I recommend that you consult with a fertility specialist to determine a treatment plan so that you can hopefully conceive your own child. If you need help finding a specialist in your area you can email me directly at

ive been trying to have kids sense i was 17 and im now 23 almost 24 and still no luck i have poc and a little on the chubby side so im thinking thats the problem..its exspensive to adopt i dont just have thousands of dollars laying around..but im willing to help with other things the birth mom needs like clothes,food,electric,gas, ect ..can someone help me please it has always been a dream to have kids and right now its not looking so good :(

Am a well known adoption master, i do adopt children of any type and kind to any part of the world with the help of my lawyer and workers, we do adopt children with rightful adoption documents and our lawyer to stand your adoption ground no hidden charges visit our adoption email at or call me on +2348115825576 for urgent response Thank you...

we are trying for a baby for the less 8 years. my husband cannot have children. please can you help us

Hi, I willl be 38 years old in a few weeks. I have a great deal of things going on right now. I have recently started a home healthcare business, and it will take about 2 years before I see any money. I amm not dating anyone, but I know marriage is in my future. Will it be too late to freeze my eggs at 39 or 40? I need to be able to save to freeze my eggs. Is 40 too old to freeze eggs? I know in the future I will find love and get married, I want to be able to have a child with my own eggs. Thanks.

The earlier you can freeze your eggs the better, and it would be helpful for you to have your ovarian reserve tested to know the quality and quantity of your eggs, and help you make some decisions. Our Patient Care Advocates can help you find an egg freezing doctor in your area. Please call toll-free at 855-955-2229 or email I wish you all the best, Claire

I had my tubes tied 12 years ago now, I was very young and knew at that point in my life I didn't want another child with the man I was with. I have now since grown up I am 36 and for several years realized I do want another child. My husband and I have looked into adoption however they are so expensive and the money it costs takes away from the money you would have to help support the child. Is there any way to still naturally have a child? I do not know what kind of procedure was done when they tied my tubes. Desperately seeking a child. any help would be great.

If you had your tubes tied, the options for getting pregnant would be a tubal reversal or IVF. A fertility doctor can go over the options with you and help you determine the best treatment. If you need help finding a fertility doctor in your area, please contact our Patient Care advocates at 855-955-2229 or Best, Claire

My daughter died 10 years ago, I have been raising my youngest grand daughter with him for 10 years. He has remarried and his new wife doesnt like my grandchild and she doesnt like her either, He has suggested that I adopt her . Being a family adoption would it be less expensive? Or should he just sign over perm. custody of her to me? Also if I do this and have adopted or have perm. custody of her if I die will she be able to get my SS? Thannk you

We are a couple , who have recently, wanted both to adopt a newborn baby. We are trying to find a , and couple or single mother, wishing to give baby for adoption. Iam not going to release any reasons on why we are wishing to adopt i feel that is between the persons giving baby for adoption, and the adopting parents. Iam from melbourne victoria my name is michelle my contact details are as follows.12 finchley st Glenroy Victoria Australia, 3046. 0481328686

I am 36 yrs old we have been married 10 yrs, I have had 2 misscarriages, but no live birth. All I can think about is giving my heart to another heart, and giving such wonderful love to a new life. Please email me at

Im 30 yrs of age & I have been unsuccessful of conceiving after 10 yrs. I am desperately looking to adopt an infant. Im self employed stable home, family, & life. Im still not giving up on having my own children but I would love to give an unplanned child a home.

Im a lesbian me and my wife lives in macon ga looking to adopt a healthy new born baby girl and we want th know how can we go about doing so?

hi my name is don, my wife and i have been trying for 14 years to have a child, i just found out that i'm sterile and it's heartbreaking. My wife has been through fertilty testing for the last year and to watch her go through it hurts, so we started to look at adoption, but we r not rich, we long to have a child to love please help

can you please call me i am 19 yrs old and i am pregnant i want to find a couple to adopt my baby my phone is 828 736 0578

help, my husband and i have been trying to concieve for 13 years and we've had no luck. I'm 33 years old now and i'm feeling hopeless,we have so much love to share. Contact me at thank you

I will be 36 years old this year. I have a 15 year old daughter who lives with her father. We have been divorced for 13 years now. My boyfriend of two years and I will soon be engaged. He and his sister were adopted in the early 70's. According to my physician, I may not be able to become pregnant due to the fibroid on my left overy and my polycystic ovarian syndrome. We are longing for a child. Someone please help us

Hi Jennifer, You may still be able to conceive with in vitro fertilization (IVF). Give us a call at 1-855-955-BABY (2229) and we will connect you to a fertility doctor in your area.


If you are interested in adopting, you should contact attorneys who do private adoption, agencies in your state (including foster-to-adopt agencies) and request their information packets. This will help you understand what the process is and what agency stipulations there are.

Good luck!

Hi my name is Jessica Im 20 years old. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for two years. We are from illinois living in a stable home on the country sind of town wanting to adopt a child of any age. ive raised and babysat kids since i was 12 now im ready to be a mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lotz of love Jesse

Are you still looking to adopt? This is my email awuraabenawills at yahoo com

I would love to be able to adopt a child between ages birth to three I would give the child everything it could need and love

I would like to know how to adopt a child from 0-6 in age any sex and race... How do i do it fast and how much money is it?

Hello, My husband and i struggle have pregnant for long long time and no lucks. We knows adopt is very expensive but how it work? We would like have a baby also we both are deaf. email me thank you

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